"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

The dreaded question: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

I know it's not just me who finds it difficult to answer that question but for some reason even when i have an idea about what i want to do in the future i cant vision myself 5 years from now. 5 years ago i couldn't vision myself 5 years from then.

I think when your life has been threatened numerous times from such a young age and you've seen your friends pass away from similar sitautions you start to believe you wont live past 18 or long after. It's like a dynamite effect, only a short time until it explodes.

I used to think it was just me who thought that way but after last night after visitin a young friend of mine with Sickle Cell who is really unwell in hospital and listening to his mum talk and repeat what he says about beliving he is going to die anyway, when approached about not taking medication, and his beliefs that he will die young; i realsed that many Sicklers must feel this way. And although i keep my feelings to myself and bottled up i thought i should share this. Maybe someone will relate?

So i figured i should make my first blog about that and just show all of you out there you're not the only ones who feel that way, i feel like that too. Even with all my accomplishments both personal, professional and medical related i still find it hard to see myself 5 years from now. For example i know i want kids and can imagine the concept of me having kids but i cant actually visualise it, the reality of it happenin seems far..So just know you're not alone. It's normal to feel that way and i believe even people without Sickle Cell have the same thoughts and feelings. Its just important to not give up. Your mind is strong believe u will survive and u will one day see everything you want within reach.

Sorry for the deep beginning to my blogs..just something that's been on my mind lately. Do any of you relate?